The only reason I ever typed a blog was so my dear mother could read about my life in Taiwan, so she wouldn't worry, so I didn't have to mass e-mail my friends just in case they wanted to know what was going on in my life, and most of all, so I had something for myself to remember. I was going to keep an old fashioned journal but the blog idea accomplished several things all at once. Once I got back from my Taiwan trip, my blog died with it. In it's place I pasted hyperlinks to websites I didn't want to forget with terse little comments designed not to inform anyone, even myself, but to enable me to Google my own website searching for "that one web page" that I forgot the name of and the other name of but I remembered only bits and pieces of. Google is good for doing that sort of thing. A searchable journal. If I was smart, and had lot's of time, I'd "blog" about everything that happened every day. Then when I wanted to remember some detail about life I could just Google my own website.

So where is the hyperlink today? Or what am I blogging about? No hyperlink. I'm just blogging about blogging. I figure by now anyone who ever checked this page while I was in Taiwan, has forgotten about it and given up checking it for anything other than where I downloaded my last free calculator from. Now it's almost, not quite, private. Maybe it's exciting to me though, someone just might read it, so I have to type nice things, complete sentences, etc. I guess I miss having little blogs. My life, to me, is no less interesting than it was in Taiwan, to others... I can't imagine what I'd even blog about. I think it would be cruel to blog about my life now, what if some poor fool stumbled upon my website and started to read my blogs, thinking: "maybe there is something here to read, maybe it will get more interesting, maybe he'll get to the point, a point, then I'll understand!" That would never happen, for me to blog about a point I'd actually have to have one. Unless it was a subconscious point...

So here I am, as I was long ago in Taipei, Taiwan, instead of a 12 inch screen and an 11 inch keyboard I have a 24 inch screen next to two 19 inch screens and an ergonomic keyboard. Instead of a hard-as-plywood mattress in a muggy chairless Taipei apartment, I'm sitting in a computer chair design for prolonged sitting and leaning back. Life is different for me now.

Did I mention I miss blogging sometimes? I'm not sure if I have or not, I'd need to scroll up to read what I've typed. That would be painful and inconvenient.

I've heard that blogging, no: journaling, same difference, is therapeutic, good for the mind and the heart. I feel it. I feel myself unwinding. I guess it didn't work for that one guy who shot a bunch of people at LA Fitness though. Maybe he didn't know how to do it right, I think he blogged about what he hated, I blog about... nothing in particular. He blogged about women, which it seems that he really hated, I'd be too embarrassed to blog about women, which I don't hate (in case you were wondering, no I rather like them, I think problems develop when you start to think of women as a group, as "them." As if they are some how united against you, or united in thought or something like that. I started this "woman" topic with a parenthesis, here I'll close it.) Now the programmer in me is satisfied, you can't go around leaving those things open, computers don't like it when you do that. As I was saying... actually I was enlightening psychopathic misogynists who might stumble across my website that women aren't united anymore than men are, notice that there are hundreds of nations in this world, many of them at war at this very moment. You probably have a lot more in common with some woman than you do with a random man on the other side of the earth, or on the other side of town. Like your mom or your sister for instance, just like you, some random guy, let's just use me for an example, I'm nothing like you. Especially if you really are a psychopathic misogynist on the brink. That's not me at all, I'm not a misogynist, and I'm not psychopathic, I might be a lot of "ics" but I don't think I'm psychopathic. Maybe schizophrenic or autistic, or narcissistic, but I'm not interested in shooting a bunch of people then myself. If I was going to go out with a big bang of some sort it'd have to be done right, like I'd want to explode and turn into pure blue energy, or white energy, I haven't decided on a color yet and I probably never will, so I don't think I'll ever actually go through with it without the right color. Plus the blue energy of my explosion wouldn't be destructive it would be more musical and emotional, like some sort of "trip" or that THX sound test at the beginning of movies, it would have to make everyone's skin tingle. Otherwise I wouldn't even bother.

I guess I'm done talking about "how I want to go out", in reality I don't want to "go out" at all, I've been planning on staying instead, that's my plan. Now all I have to say, is it's good to ramble online, to blog, what's the difference? And today, in my life, I drove from Seattle, and tomorrow I'll drive back. Normally I drive down Saturday morning, but the traffic supposed to be bad, and I have some paperwork to do at the hall.